I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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