Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
