He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
