Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
