I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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