Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
