The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
