It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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