i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
