Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
