we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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