Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.

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(949): View more from California

Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

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(831): View more from California

I puked off the balcony.

(1-831): View more from California

Not horrible

(831): View more from California

Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.

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(530): View more from California

There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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(718): View more from New York

I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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(727): View more from Florida

I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself

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