that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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