like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you didnt know i had herpes?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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