and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
