In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
