I just saw a hot homeless man
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
