I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
