wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize