thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
