Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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