Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
