I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
