I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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