Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize