so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
