He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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