And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
