I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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