Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
honey bunches of taint.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
