hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
