You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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