Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
