While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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