In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
