Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
