Someone shit on the floor
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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