North Korea, Best Korea!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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