You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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