ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
