I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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