Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
