There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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