oh god the rape fog is back!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
