ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
