Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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