i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
