Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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