i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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