He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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