Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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