More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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