I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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