After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
