the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
