What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
