Whod you bang
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My vagina just recognized that song.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
