Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
