Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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